SLEEPY’S : 60 “CONSCIENCE”

SFX : vigorous pillow fluffing

WOMAN : BOY . . . WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE FOR A GOOD NIGHT’S REST FOR A CHANGE.

VOICE : (reverb of the same woman’s voice) WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

WOMAN : WHAT WAS THAT?

VOICE : IT’S ONLY YOUR CONSCIENCE.

WOMAN : GREAT. I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DEDUCTED THOSE WINE-TASTING CLASSES AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE.

VOICE : IT’S NOT THAT. IT’S ABOUT THAT LUMPY MATTRESS OF YOURS. ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME YOU WENT TO SLEEPY’S . . . THE MATTRESS PROFESSIONALS?

WOMAN : I’VE BEEN BUSY.

VOICE : SLEEPY’S HAS THE BIGGEST SELECTION OF FAMOUS-NAME MATTRESSES IN THE AREA . . . SIMMONS, SEALY, SERTA . . . AND WITH OVER 65 YEARS IN THE BUSINESS, THEY’LL HELP YOU FIND A MATTRESS JUST RIGHT FOR YOU.

WOMAN : CAN WE TALK TOMORROW? I’LL BE FREE FROM ONE TO TWO, AFTER MY LUNCH MEETING WITH. . .

VOICE : SLEEPY’S EVEN LETS YOU TRY THE MATTRESS FOR 60 DAYS TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE HAPPY.

WOMAN : NO KIDDING? WHAT ABOUT PRICES?

VOICE : YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT. SLEEPY’S GUARANTEES IT WILL MATCH OR BEAT ANYBODY ELSE’S PRICE.

WOMAN : YEAH?

VOICE : THEY EVEN GUARANTEE NEXT-DAY DELIVERY . . . YOU GET IT FREE!

WOMAN : FREE?!

VOICE : SO HOW ABOUT IT?

WOMAN : OKAY, OKAY I’LL GO TO SLEEPY’S TOMORROW.

VOICE : PROMISE?

WOMAN : YEAH. I PROMISE.

VOICE : GOOD. NOW ABOUT THAT DEDUCTION YOU TOOK FOR KAYAKING LESSONS IN THE YUKON . . .

ANNCR : CHECK THE NEWSPAPER FOR THIS WEEK’S SPECIALS AT SLEEPY’S, WITH OVER 50 STORES IN THE NEW YORK AREA. CALL 800-SLEEPY’S FOR THE SLEEPY’S NEAREST YOU.

© 2010 Patrick J. O’Neill